Baby's On Fire
by OneWhoWritesThings
Summary: A fic based off of the Die Antwoord video for Baby's on Fire, watch and you'll see what I've done here. Some things are changed up, but, whatever. I wrote it during school when I was really bored. Bella is wild-child(Sort of) Yolandi, Kili is JP, Fili is G-Boy, and Bofur is the last guy(Who's name I do not know), with protective!Dori, Oin, and Gloin taking Ninja's place. Enjoy!(:
1. Chapter 1: Kili (JP)

The company had stopped, it was dinner time, and Bella sat in between Kili and Fili as everyone ate. Of course, tonight was another one of those nights, where the rest of the company was sort of forced to listen (With the most bored expressions some had ever seen) to Kili boast about how he'd killed that night's dinner and about how he was apparently one of the best dwarven archers ever known. (At this, Thorin almost, almost laughed. He was a great archer, but not near one of the best.)

Bella had listened intently to him the entire time though, a slight smile on her face. After he'd finished his boasting, the rest of the group went back to conversing with each other. Kili though, turned to Bella. "Heyyy, Bella, maybe you'd like me to show you how to properly shoot an arrow, later?" He asked, the expression on his face was a one that Bella could not exactly read. But, she just shrugged. "I suppose so, I wouldn't mind." She'd answered, not really thinking much of it besides the fact that maybe he could actually teach her how to do so.

So, after dinner, Kili led Bella off to somewhere. The others had no idea where. Though the only ones who really gave it a second thought and were at all concerned were Dori, Oin, and Gloin. Of course, they tried to convince themselves that the dwarven prince would only do what he'd said. Key word there; tried.

Dori was the one who was not convinced. At all. In his opinion, the two had been gone too long for his liking, and he was going to find out why it took so long to show Bella how to shoot a bloody arrow. She was a fast learner, she'd have picked up on it by now! He left his place in the circle of dwarves, then followed the path he'd seen Kili and Bella leave through.

He found himself feeling angry, for once in a very long time. He didn't want any idiotic dwarf just hanging around and getting a little to close to someone he considered the equivalent to a daughter. Especially not if said idiotic dwarf was Kili.

Soon Dori had found the two, and what he saw happening before him made him even more.. Well, outraged would be the only good word for it now. What exactly did he see? Kili stood there, arms wrapped around Bella's waist, leaning down and in close as if he was going to kiss her.

Now, to them, Dori seemed to appear out of nowhere, and shocked the two into near heart attacks. He made Bella almost rocket out of Kili's arms, and she fell to the ground in the process, seeming to nearly curl up. Dori then took out his sword and pointed it in the direction of Kili's throat. "No more of this, are we understood?" He asked, his tone menacing. All Kili could do was nod before he ran away, presumable back to the camp, looking terrified.

Dori looked over at Bella now, who still looked quite shocked. He helped her up before looking down at her the way a mother would look upon her child as she scolded them. "None of that. You know these younger dwarves only have one thing on their minds, do you hear me? One thing, Bella." At this, Bella had to keep herself from rolling her eyes, and just sighed instead. She'd kept quiet, but on the way back, he could have sworn he'd hear her mumble something like, "That's not even true..." while she walked.

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo_**

**__****So, what did you think? These aren't going to be long chapters. If you'd like to know what I'm basing this off of(if you don't already) then just go look up Baby's On Fire by Die Antwoord, the video. :) These are just the random things I come up with when inspired by South African rap groups.. I was thinking about a I Fink U Freeky one, and I've already marked which boy would be which (Sexy, Fancy, Play, Pretty, Ugly, Naughty) So.. If I had ideas for that I'd write that too.. But, anyway, R&R, if the feedback is positive, then I shall continue on with this. I've got the other 3 chapters written, they just need to be typed up.. So.. Yes! :) Hope you enjoyed. **


	2. Chapter 2: Fili (G-Boy)

_**A few nights later...**_

Bella couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried. Fili's on watch, though it looks like he can't exactly focus on doing just that. He only seemed to be tending to the object in his lap, which he was furiously working at with what looked like a knife.

Bella sat up from her bedroll and walked over, tapping his shoulder very gently. He jumped and turned, thinking it was Thorin or some other dwarf, though a long sigh of relief leaves his lips when he realizes it's just Bella.

"Ehm, what can I do for you, Ms. Bella?" He asked, smiling gently up at her. "I can't sleep.. I figured I could stay up with you." She said, and he nodded, scooting over to make space for her to sit beside him, which she does. "I have something for you." He said suddenly, and not a moment later he'd been happily handing over what he'd been working on to her. When she looked at it, she couldn't help but smile. It was a small wooden duck. It wasn't perfect, because things like this weren't exactly Fili's thing as she'd come to learn, but it was still nice to her.

"It's beautiful, thank you very much." Bella smiled as she spoke, and continued looking down at the little wooden thing as Fili gave a slight nod. "It was no problem at all." They sat together and talked a bit after that, though after their discussion ended, Fili eventually offered his hand, and Bella took it. He abandoned his watch duties completely and led her off to a more secluded area in the bushes.

_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo**_

Oin had woken up, feeling a bit.. Unusual. He just felt something wasn't quite right. He knew he wasn't going to be going back to sleep again until after he found out what was amiss. So, he got up. When he looked around, he noticed first that Fili had disappeared, and then he realized that so had Bella. He had a feeling he knew what was happening there, and where the two had gone.

He picked up his weapon and headed in the direction of wear Fili was supposed to have been watching. He stared at the empty spot a moment and shook his head. Thorin was most definitely going to hear about this in the morning.

And, now even in the dark and with his vision being poor as it was, Oin spied footprints on the ground. He followed them of course, and when he finally came upon where Fili had led Bella off to, he found himself both angered and embarrassed at the sight. Bella was half naked, shirt discarded (chest unbound by anything as well, hobbit tradition, that is.) and was lying underneath Fili, who's coat had been opened partially as well as his underclothes, exposing his chest.

At that point, Oin stormed over to them angrily and just like Dori, spooked the two into parting. Bella had rolled away slightly as Fili fell onto the ground. Bella watched worriedly as Fili scrambled to get away from Oin and that iron-shod staff of his. Before Oin took off, he removed his own coat and threw it over Bella.

Bella pouted the rest of the night, all the way until she was dressed fully once more and was lying in her own bedroll. She even had a pouty look on her face as she slept that night.


	3. Chapter 3: Bofur (E)

_**Another few days later...**_

Another night, another place that the dwarves felt safe enough to stop in. Bella wasn't planning on doing anything new that night, but Bofur of course came to sit by her, happily smiling that cheeky smile of his. "'ey, Bella, d'you want some flute lessons? I got an extra one in my pack that I don't use, I'm sure you'd pick up on playin' real quick!" He said, and Bella gave a slight smile. "Sure! I'd love to!" She said, nodding once. Bofur nodded too, still smiling. "Alright! C'mon then, I'll go get th'extra flute," He stood and offered his hand, when she took his he pulled her up and walked her over to his bag. When she'd had the flute in hand, he led her away from the group, even if doing so wasn't exactly necessary.

To be fair, they actually did have a lesson and Bella learned to play a little tune on the instrument, which Bofur had then given to her to keep permanently. It was enjoyable to learn things such as this, and she'd had a good time. Afterwards though, they'd definitely done plenty more than flute lessons, and little did they know trouble was coming._ Soon._

Gloin went to find the two, to get them back to the small camp for dinner.

As he looked around for them, he saw something thrown from a bush.. He walked over to said bush and upon further examination (Which consisted of picking up the discarded object and looking over it), he found that it was none other than Bella's own shirt.

Then, hurriedly, he looked past the bushes. Just in time to see Bofur and Bella. Bofur on top, Bella underneath and.. Yeah. You know the rest. He stepped through the bushes, just about as if not more angry than Oin had been the previous night. His foot his the ground with a rather loud thump, which caused both Bofur and Bella to look up and lazily investigate the noise's cause.

Once they both saw who it was, Bofur had barely enough time to pull away from Bella before Gloin was after him, shouting, battle axe raised raised about his head. It was a wonder no one heard him. Now, Bella knew that Gloin could and probably would go so far as to kill Bofur if given the chance. In a panic, she got up, her only cover being Bofur's coat(Which was abnormally large on her.), and had grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on before taking off after the two dwarf men.

When she finally had caught up with Gloin, she'd seen that the older dwarf had Bofur cornered, his axe still raised, though now he looked as if he was about to bring it down on the poor toy-makers now bare head. Bella acted quickly, again out of panic, and threw the object she had picked up. It turned out to be Bofur's boot, and it collided with the back of Gloin's head with a slight 'tmp' noise.

Gloin wasn't knocked unconscious or anything, but, he was stunned for a good few moments, allowing Bofur time to grab his boot and run away as the taller dwarf dropped his axe on the ground, with Bofur thanking Bella quickly as he ran, and she nodded as she watched him pass. She then looked back at Gloin who had finally realized what had just happened. He looked back at Bella, almost confused, and all she did was turn and walk away, wrapping Bofur's coat tighter around her naked body.

_Flame on, mothafuckas._

_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo**_

_****_**So, there's that. Have you watched the Baby's On Fire video? If you have, good, then you know what that last line was.. If not, then oh no, you don't know. :c I highly suggest watching the Baby's On Fire video if you haven't already, it's one of my favourites from Die Antwoord. :) Hope you enjoyed this fic! I had fun writing it, for sure. :D **

**~OneWhoWritesThings**


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